I am always learning from other moms, leastwise they formulate those thoughts which I can't.... Reading the blogs I find a newer part of myself every day.
I realize that I don't have enough time, or maybe I use my time not well enough. (Should I have to do sg. other than sitting in front of the computer and read blogs???? :)))))
Every OT or PT is before noon, so our half-day is vanish. I don't have enough time to do some shopping, being with other moms pushing the strollers in the city or simply 'bum' somewhere. I have a little feeling that I don't belong to nowhere, I can't spend enough time with moms with typical kids and I surmount the temptation to make deep friendship with nontypical children's moms. My heart is so unstable, I don't need to be always in a distressed situation with one more nontypical children :) Okay, these are only thoughts, the thruth is that I started to speak a lot with another mom whom I met at swimming pool and turned out that we are at the same place at PT. She has a very handsome son with wonderful light-blond hair, he is 2 yrs old, but cannot walk. I don't know the exact problem, but I am not curious for that.
I realize that I don't have enough time, or maybe I use my time not well enough. (Should I have to do sg. other than sitting in front of the computer and read blogs???? :)))))
Every OT or PT is before noon, so our half-day is vanish. I don't have enough time to do some shopping, being with other moms pushing the strollers in the city or simply 'bum' somewhere. I have a little feeling that I don't belong to nowhere, I can't spend enough time with moms with typical kids and I surmount the temptation to make deep friendship with nontypical children's moms. My heart is so unstable, I don't need to be always in a distressed situation with one more nontypical children :) Okay, these are only thoughts, the thruth is that I started to speak a lot with another mom whom I met at swimming pool and turned out that we are at the same place at PT. She has a very handsome son with wonderful light-blond hair, he is 2 yrs old, but cannot walk. I don't know the exact problem, but I am not curious for that.
I was a buisy mom till we didn't get the ws-result, before it I had programmes every day with another mom. Since we can only meet rarely and I am so sorry about that. She accepted Szabi as he is, she loves him, she has no baffling questions, knows (or have an idea) what I was going through. It was very comfortable for me. I need someone to meet sometimes with, I don't like myself as a lonely mom, I think nowadays this is my main problem. Maybe this is the cause why I said to Laci, OK, let's go to Naples for 3 yrs. I always protested going to foreign countries, but I think this is the right time to do it. You know he is a soldier and he has to go to other countries sometimes, in a 2 yrs time for 6 months, maybe into Kosovo or Afghanistan, Iraq??? OR: he can go with the family for 2-4 yrs to Naples, Brusseles, Germany, Turkish etc. Maybe it would be the best for us. Of course we have to lobby for that, but we do our best. If we can find the perfect person, we can go to the USA, too, it would be funny to meet personally with you, wouldn't it? :DDDDDD
I did a few pics yesterday just for you:
1. hide and seek with the curtain 1.
2. hide and seek 2.
3. he is always running everywhere
4. favourite loveable toy...
Okay, let's finish my blog: at 10-11 we were at OT, Szabi was extra sensitive, he had no taste for doing anything which is useful for him, this was the first time when he cried at the Early Intervention Centre. I don't know why, maybe he doesn't like his new therapist (nor do I...)... Fortunately she is not the only one, Szabi is in love with his other therapist!
After OT we went to do a little shopping, a new C&A opened not far from the EIC, so we did a little by-pass before I drove home. I met another mom while shopping, I know her from the center. It is a crazy thing that our city is not too small (166.000 people live in it + 100.000 students) and everywhere I meet familiar moms who are take their children early inventerventioning... There are too many nontypical kids? Her daughter is only 1 month older than Szabi but she is on the nearly same developement-level. I don't know what is worse, knowing that your child is nontypical and you have a diagnosis, or you suspect that sg. is wrong, but you don't have a diagnosis and you want your child to be typical. I saw the fear and hope in her eyes.... she looked at Szabi (she knows he has ws) after looked at her daughter and I noticed that her thoughts can be like this: this is a little "R" boy... but he is walking, talking, eating etc. better than my healthy daughter... how could it happened?... maybe my daughter is nontypical kid... or worse.... "R"????
Sometimes I am dismaled after this kind of chattings, but I am starting to get used to them. The world is far not perfect... 3 years ago my world was so perfect, a lot of people envied us. 3 years ago my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer-disease, she was only 59 yrs old then, after Szabi was diagnosed with ws, then my dad had cath in his heart. I hope this is the end of the misadventure and in my life only good things can happen to us. I try to be positive :)
Love, Kati
5 comments:
I know what you mean... I am not doing all the same things I did when my older son Michael was a baby. I also wonder if we will gain friends around here just for Brady. We did join storytime at the library but I didn't really click with anyone there. I am doing Baby Yoga with my girlfriend and her son, who will pass right past Brady developmentally, and that's it. All the rest of the time are dr appts. It can be very frustratin!
If you do move, make sure wherever you are going will have at least the same quality of care or better that you are getting for Szabi. There are some states around me that fall very short of what is good PT. I think that would be cool to have Laci around longer and live somewhere different! How exciting!!!
Kati, things will get better. We just have our AWFUL days sometimes. I felt so lonely when I quit my job and felt like I had no place in this world but now am finding things to do that make me feel whole again and let me spend time with my lil guy. I wish I didn't work so much but I'm glad I can be home most of the time.
We all love you and hope things get easier every day! Love to your family.
Your luck sounds like ours. Chris' dad passed away after at 2 year battle at the age of 61. Tatum was born 6m later.
Moving may really be a good thing, funnny I was just saying I want to move. I am sure we'll be hear for a while. There is lots for sale in my neighborhood come here the kids would have a blast;)
Kati, such heavy thoughts from a beautiful Hungarian girl (like me, plus a little Swedish and German mixed in). I don't spend time with other mothers, work really keeps my hands tied from doing that and we spend our weekends with family and doing fun stuff. I too wish I spent more time with other mommies. If it wasn't for you guys, I would be pretty alone.
XOXO
Amy
He is sooooo adorable!
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